Holy shit! I have a blog!

I can't remember the last time I contributed to this thing. So how're things? I got this goiter (not spelled correctly). Doctor says I should cut down on the salt. I said he should cut down on the ugly.

That wasn't funny...SEE YOU IN ANOTHER 9 MONTHS!

oh Sandwich!

Look i certainly have nothing against bosoms. I say the more plentiful the better. But I think we take them for granted sometimes.

sorry

Upcoming Projects

I've decided to start posting a bi-monthly update of projects I have in developement. Not a long diatribe, just a brief summary of what's on the docket. Here goes...
-features: Zombie Monkey Death Island pt. 2
-Sit. Com.: My dog has AIDS
-Novel: The history of history, A chronicle of History's Historical impact on History.

This is quite a deaf jam I've gotten myself into.

Call me insensitive, but I'd imagine the worst part about being deaf would be not knowing if anyone just heard you fart...

What's in the news...what's in the news

Flutter Flutter Fly of Butter. Why do you sit there? Did I stutter?

I find that most of my poetry involves me berating insectia. It's the only form of life that I am fairly convinced I am better than.
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P.S.- Yes this is a dissapointing return to my blog but what are you going to do about it? Sue me?

P.P.S.- Please don't sue me...

Do Ninjas work?

In this modern work a day world you don't often see a ninja...I guess that's the point of ninjas, but I digress. The fact is they're not lurking in the shadows in that space where the wall meets the ceiling. They're not conceiled behind the trunk of a mighty oak. Sadly, they have no place in this day and age. I remember vividly the day I realized that it would be almost impossible to move about the world in complete stealth, killing for profit and/or vengeance. I refer to it as 'the Day I gave up on being a ninja'. I pity a world where we fear the wrath of terrorists more than the strike of ninjas.

talk about a Tiger Shark

As if I needed another reason to be afraid of the water. I mean Jesus Christ people. Apparently if I'm being chased by a tiger that shit can chase MY shit through the water and shit. I say fuck the tigers, nuke em all...oh god, I hope they can't read now too...