Upcoming Projects

I've decided to start posting a bi-monthly update of projects I have in developement. Not a long diatribe, just a brief summary of what's on the docket. Here goes...
-features: Zombie Monkey Death Island pt. 2
-Sit. Com.: My dog has AIDS
-Novel: The history of history, A chronicle of History's Historical impact on History.

This is quite a deaf jam I've gotten myself into.

Call me insensitive, but I'd imagine the worst part about being deaf would be not knowing if anyone just heard you fart...

What's in the news...what's in the news

Flutter Flutter Fly of Butter. Why do you sit there? Did I stutter?

I find that most of my poetry involves me berating insectia. It's the only form of life that I am fairly convinced I am better than.
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P.S.- Yes this is a dissapointing return to my blog but what are you going to do about it? Sue me?

P.P.S.- Please don't sue me...

Do Ninjas work?

In this modern work a day world you don't often see a ninja...I guess that's the point of ninjas, but I digress. The fact is they're not lurking in the shadows in that space where the wall meets the ceiling. They're not conceiled behind the trunk of a mighty oak. Sadly, they have no place in this day and age. I remember vividly the day I realized that it would be almost impossible to move about the world in complete stealth, killing for profit and/or vengeance. I refer to it as 'the Day I gave up on being a ninja'. I pity a world where we fear the wrath of terrorists more than the strike of ninjas.

talk about a Tiger Shark

As if I needed another reason to be afraid of the water. I mean Jesus Christ people. Apparently if I'm being chased by a tiger that shit can chase MY shit through the water and shit. I say fuck the tigers, nuke em all...oh god, I hope they can't read now too...

The kid is back

It's been a long time...shouldn't have left you...without a dope beat to step to. Whenever the term "long time" is used I will imediately begin to sing the previously mentioned Aaliyah song. That's strange unto itself especially when you factor in that I don't really like Aaliyah. If anything you'd think I'd start singing "Foreplay/Longtime" by Boston. Which is in my top 37 songs of all time (List to be published at a later date). The sad part is however, as I break into the song and accompanying dance recently, less and less people get the reference. C'mon people. That song was a goddamn hit!

Karma Schwarma

Now I'm not saying I don't believe int eh existence of karma. But sometimes I think we give the fates too much credit. They may be omnipotent but are you sure they're really omnipresent?
The case I'm reffering to is when one is in close company and they make a reeeeely crude joke. A joke that one would never say in front of mixed company. Here's a list of some topics (and I'm not admitting over the internet that I make jokes about these things, they are merely examples): AIDS, Abortion, Asians...and that's just the A's. Whenever topics like this are jested about someone feels they must separate themselves from the grouup by saying something like "keep joking about this stuff and watch what happens" or "you know if you keep saying these awful things your baby is going to be born with no eyes." I'll admit that a twinge in the back of my brain tells me what I'm doing is wrong. But it feels so naughty and delightful. I just can't seem to help myself. Here's my point. Are there any documented cases of this happening. Can you recall a time when someone made a joke about bird flu and then a week later their mother ate a tainted Sparrow? If you feel uncomfortable making jokes about things you know nothing about then that's a good thing. You will avoid putting your foot in your mouth on a weekly basis. But if you only do it because of the invisible floating eye waiting to teach you an unexpected lesson, then you're doing it for the wrong reasons, and you should be smited...or smoten...what the hell is that word?